Dear Allah, as I pen these words, my heart carries the weight of the challenges I face as a father, striving to balance the duties of parenthood with my unwavering devotion to You. My gratitude for the gift of fatherhood knows no bounds, yet I acknowledge the perpetual drain on my energy, making it a daunting task to draw nearer to You through acts of worship as I once used to.
My fatherly duties frequently divert me from the moments of solitude I once cherished for salah and reflection. Those sacred acts of prostration in peace that once brought me solace and tranquility, has now become a beautiful, yet challenging experience.
As I stand before You in prayer, attempting to focus on Your presence, my son’s innocent excitement takes over, and he jumps on my back, seeking my attention and love. Although I cherish his affection, it becomes difficult to find the khushu’ that I yearn for in my prayers.
The desire to attend the masjid and immerse myself in the environment and pray with the congregation is strong, but I cannot help but think twice about leaving my wife home alone with our two children after tending to them all day. The responsibilities of parenthood weigh heavily on my mind, knowing the immense effort she puts into nurturing them while I seek closeness to You.
I understand that the journey of faith is not always smooth, and it is in these struggles that our faith is tested and strengthened. I seek Your guidance, Allah, to find creative ways to integrate my children into my acts of worship, to teach them the beauty of prayer and devotion, and to experience the joy of seeking closeness to You as a family.
May Your divine blessings enshroud my children with Your love and protection, guiding their footsteps towards righteousness. As I navigate the intricate web of fatherhood, I yearn for the day when circumstances align to offer more opportunities to deepen my connection with You, concurrent with the growth of my children.
But until then, I pray for patience and wisdom to embrace these precious moments of fatherhood while cherishing the opportunities to draw nearer to You. Grant me the strength to find the khushu’ in my prayers, even amidst the distractions, and to understand that the love and care I invest in my family are also acts of worship in Your eyes.
Thank you, Allah, for the gift of fatherhood and the opportunity to draw closer to You through this beautiful journey. With Your grace, may I find the balance and dedication to fulfill both roles with love and devotion, seeking Your pleasure in every step I take.
Yours sincerely,
a father,
wholeheartedly striving,
and occasionally faltering