As parents, we always want to feel like a duty was complete—to check the boxes for things we did for our kids. We want to feel like our job was successful, and rightfully so because we put in an endless amount of effort. But, trying to come up with a perfect explanation of Ramadan for our children is overwhelming, and almost impossible.
Right or wrong explanations
Recently, we have been seeing a lot of information of how to and how not to explain Ramadan to our children. So, naturally, we started reflecting. And honestly, it’s not easy. There is no right or wrong explanation of Ramadan. Ramadan is not a simple concept to grasp. It’s deep, multi-faceted, complex, and actually—quite subjective. Even some of us as adult Muslims don’t have a full understanding of Ramadan because every single year, we learn more. And maybe that’s the point.
The foundation
Now, of course there are the basics of Ramadan that we can teach our children. For example, that it’s one of the five pillars of Islam and the month in which the first verses of the Qur’an were revealed to Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. But, Ramadan is deeper than that, right? Ramadan is about self-control and self-discipline and that’s difficult to explain to children. Children don’t yet know how to control their needs and wants. We fulfill their every need (and most wants) constantly. Actually, a huge part of parenting is trying to teach our children to control themselves. We discipline them so eventually, they can discipline themselves.
We have seen posts stating that we should not tell our children that we fast so that we become more aware of what those less fortunate feel regularly. And maybe that’s correct, maybe we shouldn’t tell our children that. We fast because Allah told us to, plain and simple. But, if your child fasts and feels the pain of hunger and connects that to how the children of Palestine are feeling right now, isn’t that good? Isn’t that beneficial? We think so.
Everyone’s Ramadan is different
For some, Ramadan is a month in which their ibadah increases ten fold. But for some, Ramadan is a month where they refrain from their sins that they commit the other eleven months of the year. These are two very different Ramadans—but they are both Ramadan, nonetheless. We can say Ramadan is about fasting, but not everyone fasts. Is it still Ramadan for those who don’t fast? Of course.
So, now what?
You may think that we have recommendations for how you should teach your child about Ramadan—but unfortunately, quite the opposite. Ramadan is a personal journey and it’s not something we can sit down and teach our kids in an hour, a week, or even a year. Just as you learn more about yourself and your relationship with Allah every Ramadan, insha’Allah your child will too. If you hear someone say there is a right way and a wrong way to teach kids about Ramadan, we urge you to just think critically.
Our point is that Ramadan is personal, and it’s a lifelong journey. It is not a simple concept that can be encapsulated into one book, activity, or lesson. So, don’t burden yourself with an impossible task. Rather, as their mother or father, spend time reflecting with your child and embrace the long conversations with questions that maybe you don’t even know the answer to. Maybe your child’s personal Ramadan journey will answer their own questions for them. Wouldn’t that be beautiful?
If this resonated with you, you are welcome to join our village and follow us on Instagram for more content like this!